Thursday, October 22, 2009

Pumpkin Patch

Top 5 things NOT to do at the pumpkin patch if you have triplets:

#5 - DO NOT tell your kids they can each pick out their own pumpkin. Although this sounds nice in theory, they will inevitably all fight over the same pumpkin that, coincidentally, is the largest (and most expensive) pumpkin in the lot. This is what you get for trying to be "fair."

#4 - DO NOT go in the middle of the day. Remember, we live in Florida. October still counts as a summer month and a mid-day trip to the pumpkin patch means you will be sweating within 90 seconds of entering said patch.

#3 - DO NOT teach your triplets to say "pumpkin." This will begin with all three of them happily repeating their newly learned word upon your arrival at the patch and end with them screaming the same word in protest as you try and drag them away when it's time to go home. I guess three kids crying and screaming "pun-kim"! is better than them screaming "This isn't my mommy"! or something like that.

#2 - DO NOT delude yourself into thinking you will get a family photo on the bales of hay with the pumpkins all around you. Trust me, it will not happen. You won't even find someone willing to take the picture. Apparently gluttons for punishment do not frequent pumpkin patches.

#1 - DO NOT assume that 22 month olds know that you aren't supposed to consume raw pumpkin. In case of bite marks or chunks being taken out of the pumpkin, it is advised that you discreetly rotate the pumpkin counter-clockwise in an effort to put the pumpkin's best "face" forward, so to speak.

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